If you grew up in the early 1990s or before and are reading this right now, there is a pretty good chance you spent many hours devouring the backs of your baseball cards.

They were great for learning about statistics and sharpening your math skills, finding out more about your favorite players and discovering new favorites, and drinking in the flavor of the game through cleverly worded gems such as, “The 19-year-old right handed curve-baller is just 18 years old.”  (See Topps, 1964, Dave Bennett rookie card)

Nowadays, of course, we don’t need baseball cards to learn about the game — everything we could ever want to know is at our fingertips if we can just muster the strength to bang a few words into a Google search.

But us guys who lived through the baseball card boom and are now living through the first generation of the digital age have it good because we can combine those two worlds.

And, man, that can be fun. And terrifying, sometimes. But mostly fun.

Take Google Translate, for example. One of the games my son and I like to play is taking passages from a famous book — say The Bible or Carrie — and translating them from English to another language using Google Translate.

Doesn’t matter which one, really.

The fun comes when you take that Google translation and stuff it back into Google Translate to render it in English again.

Boy, howdy, old Moses can get up to some real screwy no-good when he makes the Google roundtrip, let me tell you! It has us rolling on the floor most of the time. (My wife, not so much.)

So  I thought, why not apply this same word-boomerang principle to some of those cool and insightful baseball card backs from our youth?

And then I did it.

The results are below, but let me explain what you’ll see.

First, a picture of the card back.

Second, the snippet of the text that I had Google translate.

Third, how that snippet came back after Google translated it to French and then back to English.

Fourth, how that snippet came back after Google translated it to Spanish and then back to English.

(Spanish and French because those are the two languages besides English that you’re most likely to hear at a Major League park — probably.)

Some of the results were fairly hilarious, some were odd, and some were confusing.

Again, though, all were great fun.

And how could it not be? Google plus baseball card backs?

It’s like you dropped your chocolate in my peanut butter and then Yogi Berra walked by and ate the whole thing — and then told us about it in Yogi terms.

Good stuff, in other words.

Enjoy.

1987 Topps Howard Johnson — Pretty Ribbons and Pork

Topps said: Howard was co-winner of a rib-eating contest among professional athletes after 1985 season.

Google says …

Howard was co-winner of a costume competition for professional athletes after the 1985 season. (French)

Howard was co-winner of a ribbons competition among professional athletes after the 1985 season. (Spanish)

1981 Topps John Stearns — Detecting for the NFL?

Topps said: Set mark for catchers with 25 stolen bases in 1978.

Google says …

Marking for sensors with 25 stolen bases in 1978. (French)

Set brand for receivers with 25 bases stolen in 1978. (Spanish)

1964 Topps Mickey Mantle — Red-Faced in Paris

Topps said: Mick was hampered by several serious injuries in ’63.

Google says …

Mick was embarrassed by several serious injuries in ’63. (French)

Mick was hampered by several serious injuries in ’63. (Spanish)

1985 Topps Traded Rickey Henderson — Rickey Recreates with … Other Rickeys?

Topps said: Lists swimming and fishing among his hobbies.

Google says …

Shows swimming and fishing among his hobbies. (French)

List of swimming and fishing among their hobbies. (Spanish)

1974 Topps Rick Monday — Goals

Topps said: Rick would like to be a sportscaster.

Rick would like to be an athlete. (French)

Rick would like to be an athlete. (Spanish)

1977 Topps Mike Schmidt — Tri-Sport Man of The Odyssey

Topps said: Mike went on a Homer rampage in April of 1976. He hit 4 homers in one game a Wrigley Field, had stretch of 8 straight games with 9 Homers and walloped 11 round trippers in April to tie record.

Google says …

Mike made a raid of Homer in April 1976. He hit 4 homers in a game at Wrigley Field, had a 8-game consecutive match with 9 Homers and scored 11 strikers in April to record. (French)

Mike went on a Homer rampage in April 1976. He hit 4 homers in a Wrigley Field game, had an 8-game stretch with 9 Homers and hit 11 3-pointers in April to level the record. (Spanish)

1965 Topps Dave McNally — Possibly Erotic Ace

Topps said: Breaking into the majors with a bang, Dave hurled a brilliant two-hit shutout in his big league debut. A good hitting pitcher, the lefty clouted two home runs in his first three at bats in organized ball in 1961. Dave’s top pitch is his sharp breaking curve ball.

Google says …

By entering the majors with an explosion, Dave launched a brilliant beat of two strikes in his debut of the great league. A good pitcher, the left-hander nailed two domestic innings in his first three to bat bats held in 1961. Dave’s highest pitch is his curved ball curve. (French)

Entering the majors with an explosion, Dave pitched a brilliant two-stroke shine in his Major League debut. A good batting pitcher, the southpaw clouted two homers in his first three in the bats at Organized Ball in 1961. Dave’s top pitch is his sharp curve bow ball. (Spanish)

1969 Topps Jim Grant — Legally Passed the League

Topps said: In 1965, Jim paced American League with 21 victories. That year the right-hander shutout the competition six times. Jim was picked by the Expos during the ’68 Expansion draft.

Google says …

In 1965, Jim beat the American League with 21 victories. That year, the defender beat the competition six times. Jim was chosen by the Expos during the draft expansion of 68. (French)

In 1965, Jim passed the American League with 21 wins. That year, the law closed the competition six times. Jim was chosen by the Expos during the expansion project of ’68. (Spanish)

1960 Topps Gus Bell — Grueling Hobbies

Topps said: Last year was the 4th time Gus has driven in more than 100 runs.

Google says …

Last year was the 4th time that Gus traveled more than 100 races. (French)

Last year was the 4th time Gus has driven in more than 100 races. (Spanish)

1981 Topps Jerry Garvin — Set in (Head) Stone. Set in (Head) Stone.

Topps said: Has worked as a cemetery grave digger.

Google says …

Worked as a cemetery engraver. (French)

He has worked as a gravedigger gravedigger. (Spanish)

1973 Topps Pete Rose — What’s the Monthly Payment on Something Like That?

Topps said: Pete narrowly missed reaching the 200 hit plateau for 6th time in career last season. Still he led both leagues in Hits and continued to be one of the finest leadoff men.

Google says …

Pete scarcely reached the 200-seat plateau for the sixth time in his career last season. Yet he headed the two leagues of Hits and continued to be one of the best leased men. (French)

Pete was unable to reach the 200-hit plateau for the sixth time last season. However, he led the two leagues in Hits and remained one of the best leadoff men. (Spanish)

1986 Topps Traded Bo Jackson — Knows Duos Bo

Topps said: The first brother duo to play concurrently with the Royals was 3rd baseman George Brett and lefty Ken Brett in 1980.

Google says …

The duo’s first brother to play at the same time as the Royals was third baseball player George Brett and left-hander Ken Brett in 1980. (French)

The duo of the first brother to play at the same time with the Royals was third baseman George Brett and left-hander Ken Brett in 1980. (Spanish)